I like to take the opportunity, with each adoption update, to share a deep thought about adoption. When I was little, it seemed very simple - I had a birthmom who couldn't take care of me but was willing to give me life and wonderful loving parents who raised me. But as I grew (and still am), the billions of pieces that make up adoption become so much more complex, painful yet beautiful, and awe-inspiring. So my deep thought for today (and some of you have heard me say this before)...as an adoptive parent, I feel a little bit like the recipient of an organ donation, and as a waiting parent, I feel like I'll be getting back on that list. Like a patient waits for a new heart but doesn't wish anyone to die, I will wait to receive the most precious gift - a chance to be a Mommy to another child, but I do not wish anyone to have to plan an adoption for her child. Yet, in our imperfect world, people die, and adoption plans must be made. It's been a long road for me to come to terms with my gain being another's loss. I've let go of the guilt because I know it would dim the joy I have about being the Nugget's Mommy. He needs me to have that joy, and the best way I can think of to honor his birthfamily is to proudly, gratefully, and joyfully parent.