My favorite line in "You've Got Mail" is when Tom Hanks tells Meg Ryan that, "I would send you a bouquet of freshly-sharpened pencils." I love that movie so much partly because it opens in the fall, pumpkins, scotch tape, and mums featuring not so much as props but as supporting actors.
Many people feel renewal in the spring, but I feel it in the autumn. The golden sunshine, the crunchy leaves, the tang of apples, the crisp notes in the air. Football season, new backpacks, yellow school buses filled with children still fresh and eager for their new beginnings.
So this weekend, I claim my new beginning. While I continue to celebrate our adoption "pregnancy", I choose to shed the pain and worry like Doggie sheds her hair. I will stop worrying about the whens and hows of adding a child to our family, accept that I have no control over the situation, and let God work his magic. I choose to celebrate and revel in the here and now. I choose to be happy with my imperfect life, to focus on the fresh applesauce cooling on the stove and make peace with the dog hair decorating the rugs. I will spend my beautiful autumn watching the Nugget pick apples, climb monkey bars, and examine fallen leaves. I welcome family and friends who will be stopping by for the football season, not with a perfectly cleaned house but with a cluttered, cozy home; not with gourmet cuisine but with comfort food cooked and baked with love (and lots of cheese). I will be thankful every day to live here and now, with the most clever, kind, hard-working Hubby and the most charming, charismatic, kissable Nugget ever.