Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Intangible

I am surrounded by glowing pregnant mamas.  I know about a dozen women, both close friends and acquaintances, local and around the country, who are busy gestating new little bundles of joy.  As a waiting adoptive parent, it's both a comforting and an uncomfortable place to be.  Comforting, because I have others with whom to share this unparalleled feeling of expecting a new little human, of building a family.  Uncomfortable because my journey is full of intangibles.  
I don't have any morning sickness stories to share.  My belly isn't becoming rounder.  People don't hold open doors for me.  I have no due date, no ultrasound photo.  Even when friends ask how the process is going, I have nothing to tell..."Just waiting!"  You might think that I have it easy, and in some ways I do.  I don't envy the puking, that's for sure.  But some days, I want so badly for something tangible, something firm to hold onto while I wait.  It's like I'm missing my baby before we have even met.

Athletic coaches are always talking about the intangibles.  They are the qualities that players and teams just have that make them great, yet you can't really put a finger on it, place it, or give it a name.  You have "it" or you don't.  But sometimes, it's the intangibles that win the game. 

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