When we got the request for updates, I decided I could choose to feel angry and bitter about having to jump through more hoops OR I could choose to gladly complete my tasks and consider it a labor of love for Lil Sib. Why cry when I can choose to smile? It actually felt pretty good to have some work to do for Lil Sib instead of just waiting. So we very lovingly updated our Dear Birthparent letter, we signed 350 copies by hand for a personal touch, I gave them a kiss and we prayed over them before we sent them Priority Mail, that one letter from this batch might fall into the hands of the special angel who will choose us to be parents again.
We also decided to join another waiting pool, through an adoption attorney in Ohio who is also a close family friend. About 6 months ago, we were also asked to join a backup list for an agency in MO, meaning that if a birthmom doesn't like any of the families in their pool, they will present families from this backup list.
For the curious, no, we do not know how many times our profile has been presented and rejected. We can find out, but we choose not to, because I personally would find it too depressing. However, it doesn't really matter how many times you are "not-chosen", because it only takes one! Sometimes, I find it all very magical, like falling in love. There is a chemistry, a spark of trust and love when a birthmom sees the family she wants for her child, a seed that blossoms into a lifetime and a family for an unborn baby, the one that God has already chosen for us. I can't ask for that to be rushed or to meet a specific deadline in my mind.
The Nugget has done his part by making life challenging and amazing at the same time. I try to savor every day of "our time" together, because I never know when he's going to morph from our "only" to "big brother". It was actually really fun to update our photo collage - I got to see reminders of how he's grown so much over the past year.