Sunday, August 29, 2010

Daddy Quotes

Hubby is really funny. I find him endlessly funny, anyway. Most of his funniness is unintentional, which makes it even better. He is remarkably intelligent, and his brain just works differently than 98% of humans. So this means that he can make connections and find solutions that no one else sees. It also means that that other simple things fly right over his head. Hey, you just can't have it all.

The scene - buying sunglasses
Cashier: Do you want to wear these outside?
Hubby: (long pause) Eventually.
Cashier: Um, I meant, do you want them in a bag?
The scene - playing bristle blocks with Nugget
Hubby: You know, I liked to build things when I was your age too.
Nugget: Yeah.
Me: What did you like to..? (I was going to say build, but he cut me off at the pass)
Hubby: (blurting quickly) Spaceships! Pretty much exclusively.

Doesn't this sound like something out of Napoleon Dynamite? My favorite part was how quickly he responded, before I could even finish my question. Like he'd been waiting for years for me to ask about his childhood bristle block creations.
The scene - dinner at Fazoli's
Me: Ooo, there's jokes on the Nugget's cup. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Hubby: (a minute passes) I don't get it.
Me: The salad was dressing. Like it was putting on clothes. And the tomato saw it naked. So it was embarrassed.
Hubby: What?

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