Saturday, October 30, 2010

How adoption planning is like dating

People are always asking what it's like to adopt, and it's kind of hard to explain. One thing I've thought of recently is that adoption planning (open adoption anyway) is a lot like dating. How?

1. You overanalyze every word said in conversation, probing it for hidden meaning.

2. You obsess over what to wear the first time you meet.

3. You can't guarantee that this is "the one" but you go into each opportunity hopeful.

4. You carry the emotional baggage given to you by your ex-es.

5. You get a lot of notes passed to each other/about each other by counselors. (ok, this one is not so much dating, more like middle school "going with").

6. Your family and friends are super curious and sometimes opinionated about your relationship.

7. A match can look great on paper, but if you lack that chemistry, it won't work.

8. Even though you have to go about your usual work, errands, life, half of your brain and most of your heart is focused on your relationship. Does she really like you? Is this really happening? Thinking about the next time you'll meet. Will it be forever?

9. When you really grow to care about each other, the stakes get higher, because the other party is holding your heart and your future. Will they change their minds and smash it to smithereens? Or will they make all your wildest dreams come true?

10. When it's right, you become family. Your family is not defined by how often you see each other but that you are connected by the love you have for the child.

We're in the thick of it now, and we've got about a month to go. Please keep the prayers coming.

1 comment:

  1. So true! We're wishing you all the best in this match.