Hat trick
"The will of God is never exactly what you expect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it's going to be a lot better and a lot bigger." ~Elisabeth Elliot
The thing we didn't want to happen has happened. We've lost the chance to parent this child, thus completing a really sucky hat trick of disruptions.
We are wishing only the very best to mama and baby. Her change of heart seems to have been the right choice for her, and we respect and honor that, as we have twice before. We are giving ourselves the permission to grieve our loss too, while acknowledging that we are a very blessed family of 3.
I don't know yet what the future holds, whether we'll be able to get back on the horse, try a different route, or simply adjust our expectations.
Today will be filled with unpacking our bags and returning tiny baby clothes. There will be tears, but there will be smiles and hugs too.
Tonight I will hug the Nugget a little tighter, thank his Tummy Mummy for the gift of parenthood, and ask God for more grace and perhaps a road map.
Annie,
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful and beautiful person in your heart. I am crying reading this. I want to be mad for you, but it's true that there is nobody to be mad at. I just want to tell you that it is because of your wonderful heart that the mama was able to make the decision she made, knowing that you would be supportive and knowing that above all, you wanted her to have a voice and a choice.
Today though, to me and to you to certainly, it does not seem fair that you could not have any choice yourself in this process that leaves us so powerless.
Please know that a piece of my heart is so sad for you and your family and that I wish I could be closer to just be there while you grieve.
Many warm hugs to you and your family,
Lolo
My heart aches for you. Sending you e-hugs <<<>>> and prayers.
ReplyDeleteOh Annie. Sending you all so much love. My heart really goes out to you. Wishing you peace and comfort.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I am so sorry that this didn't work out. It's unfair and annoying to hear "When it's meant to be...." because it hurts so much when it's not. Your amazing take on this, and your entire situation continues to amaze me. Your strength goes unmeasured, because it's not measurable. I wish I was there, to give you a hug, share a cup of coffee, or just sit quietly and watch the clouds go by. You know I'm only a phone call or email away if you need an ear to bend.
ReplyDeleteSending you all the love we have,
The Binko's
Annie, like everyone else, I'm so sorry things didn't turn out the way you hoped and prayed. My heart aches as I'm reading your post, and I wish there was some way to take your hurt away. I've been there before though, and I know all I can do is send more prayers your way....and say that if you need anything just let me know. Hugs to you!
ReplyDelete