Things I Had Forgotten About Babies
10. The way their developing neck muscles suddenly get tired and they crack you right in the teeth with a huge hard skull.
9. Giant poops exactly when you are supposed to be leaving the house. The more important the outing, the larger the poop.
8. When you set them down, they are exactly in the same place when you return. This doesn't last.
7. The terror of having a shirt pulled over the face for even a second.
6. The way an adult sized washcloth covers their entire torso during a bath.
5. The constant crick in my neck and hunch to my shoulders from holding bottles and cradling a little one to sleep.
4. Their ability to violently flail fists but the lack of ability to control where the fists are going.
3. The startle-stare-gape at the flash on a camera, resulting in hundreds of photos of the same bug-eyed expression.
2. The way they sneak your shirt down every chance they get, and suddenly you realize that your bra has been exposed in public for about 5 minutes. Also, all your shirts are now stretched out beyond recognition.
1. The little shudder-sigh as they fall asleep. Yeah, that kind of makes up for all the harder stuff.
9. Giant poops exactly when you are supposed to be leaving the house. The more important the outing, the larger the poop.
8. When you set them down, they are exactly in the same place when you return. This doesn't last.
7. The terror of having a shirt pulled over the face for even a second.
6. The way an adult sized washcloth covers their entire torso during a bath.
5. The constant crick in my neck and hunch to my shoulders from holding bottles and cradling a little one to sleep.
4. Their ability to violently flail fists but the lack of ability to control where the fists are going.
3. The startle-stare-gape at the flash on a camera, resulting in hundreds of photos of the same bug-eyed expression.
2. The way they sneak your shirt down every chance they get, and suddenly you realize that your bra has been exposed in public for about 5 minutes. Also, all your shirts are now stretched out beyond recognition.
1. The little shudder-sigh as they fall asleep. Yeah, that kind of makes up for all the harder stuff.
I will say it took my body a while to recover from #5! #2 hasn't stopped yet. I'm still constantly buttoning all of my polos because the button holes have been stretched beyond repair!
ReplyDelete#1 is just the best. Sometimes it's immediate, sometimes I hear it on the monitor a couple of minutes after departing. But the sense of calm and accomplishment it brings is wonderful!