Spork 1 year
Dear Spork,
You are our darling chunk-a-dunk, our lil' beaver, our frat boy. It seems like you only arrived yesterday, a wobbly babe with delectable thigh rolls. You still have those rolls, but you have gone from observer to participant, from sitter/toppler to wobbly walker. You may be a middle child right now, but you will make your voice heard, dammit. You are highly demanding, highly entertaining, smart as a whip, and cute to boot. You are equal parts crochety old man and silly boy. You have turned our lives inside out and upside down, and we are ever so happy you did!
The stats:
31 inches
27 pounds, 15 ounces
Top 10 Challenges at 1 year old
10. You already know how to throw a mean tantrum. The back-arching, slamming-your-head backwards-onto-the-hardwood-floor, red-faced, vein-popping-out-of-your-forehead, give-the-boy-an-Oscar variety.
9. You are starting to bite. Your teeth are sharp. That is all.
8. In one 12 hour stretch, you whacked Daddy in the eye with a wooden frying pan, then you body-slammed my ankle in a very funky position. Loving you is dangerous, child.
7. You've decided that diaper changes are a Code Red situation to be met with full force resistance. Did I mention that you are 28 pounds? I work around that by changing you standing up, which is challenging with poop. Also, you like to squat and sit while I'm trying to attach the fresh diaper. I keep trying to explain to you that, "There is no sitting during diaper changes," like, "There's no crying in baseball," but you haven't quite grasped the concept that it would be done faster if you would only cooperate.
6. You are hungry, constantly.
5. You lack caution/survival skills. When being held, instead of hanging on, you twist outward, wiggle and buck. When on a couch, you go for the arm and try to flip head-first off the side. When climbing the steps, you try to turn backwards and head down face-first. I see many trips to the ER in our future.
4. You are doggedly determined and stubborn. It is hard to get you to let go of what you really want, even at a young age.
3. You are doing that ear-piercing happy screaming thing as of late. Glad that you're happy of course, slightly less glad that you are rupturing our ear drums. I might need to borrow the Nugget's headphones.
2. You are incredibly sensitive. This is going to be an asset as you get older, but I can already see that we will need to develop an entirely different discipline system for you. A furrowed brow, or a slightly raised voice sends you into a panic. It also contributes to a great deal of daily drama when your big brother is always furrowing his brow and raising his voice at you for touching "his stuff". I have also already caught you "faking it" when the Nugget was playing nicely with you, payback perhaps for all the toys that have been grabbed from your hands just as you were starting to enjoy them.
1. You still pull your hair when you're frustrated or tired. Then you scream and glare at us, as in, "How could you hurt my head like that?" When we hold your hands to prevent you from self-harm, you get angrier and pull your hair even harder when you do get the chance. You also smack away the spoon then hair-pull when the food is not to your liking, often getting fistfuls of puree smeared in your curls.
Top 10 Things I Love at 1 year old
10. When you play "wash the window". You sit in your highchair and frantically wash a pretend window with your right hand. When the Nugget and I egg you on, you increase your speed until you're in danger of taking off into flight.
9. When you wake from your afternoon nap, you know a bottle is imminent. The second I pick you up, you close your eyes, squirm and twist your body until you've reached bottle-receiving position, and open your mouth like a baby bird waiting for sustenance.
8. You are a nature boy. When you're having a bad day of it, I know I can cure any foul mood with a simple walk in the stroller or even a step outside for some fresh air. At the end of the day, if there is sand between your toes and your curls are sweaty, you've had a good day.
7. You are the only calm-in-the-car child we've ever parented. You doze, you kick your feet, you play with toys, you squawk and squeal, you laugh with the Nugget.
6. You love to sneak up behind me when I sit on the floor. I feel your strong paws pinching and grasping my shirt and shoulders, your fingers working into my hair, feel your breath on my neck and hear your giggles. Sometimes you want me to turn around and get you. Sometimes you don't, you just want to see the world over my shoulder.
5. Your belly laugh is to die for. Rare though, you are slightly, I don't know what else to call it but, "jaded." You'll laugh uproariously for a new trick but after 2-3 times, you stare at me blankly like a bored teenager. "It's just not funny anymore, Mama. Been there, done that."
4. You make funny, over-the-top expressions with crazy sounds to match.
3. You love to create. You put crayon to paper daily. When you see a block tower, your instinct is to inspect it and disassemble it one block at a time.
2. You adore the Nugget and Tater. You want to be doing whatever the Nugget is doing. You think he is amazing, and you're determined to wear him down even when he is frustrated with you.
1. You give hugs. Sometimes with 2 hands around our throats but always with affection.
The stats:
31 inches
27 pounds, 15 ounces
Top 10 Challenges at 1 year old
10. You already know how to throw a mean tantrum. The back-arching, slamming-your-head backwards-onto-the-hardwood-floor, red-faced, vein-popping-out-of-your-forehead, give-the-boy-an-Oscar variety.
9. You are starting to bite. Your teeth are sharp. That is all.
8. In one 12 hour stretch, you whacked Daddy in the eye with a wooden frying pan, then you body-slammed my ankle in a very funky position. Loving you is dangerous, child.
7. You've decided that diaper changes are a Code Red situation to be met with full force resistance. Did I mention that you are 28 pounds? I work around that by changing you standing up, which is challenging with poop. Also, you like to squat and sit while I'm trying to attach the fresh diaper. I keep trying to explain to you that, "There is no sitting during diaper changes," like, "There's no crying in baseball," but you haven't quite grasped the concept that it would be done faster if you would only cooperate.
6. You are hungry, constantly.
5. You lack caution/survival skills. When being held, instead of hanging on, you twist outward, wiggle and buck. When on a couch, you go for the arm and try to flip head-first off the side. When climbing the steps, you try to turn backwards and head down face-first. I see many trips to the ER in our future.
4. You are doggedly determined and stubborn. It is hard to get you to let go of what you really want, even at a young age.
3. You are doing that ear-piercing happy screaming thing as of late. Glad that you're happy of course, slightly less glad that you are rupturing our ear drums. I might need to borrow the Nugget's headphones.
2. You are incredibly sensitive. This is going to be an asset as you get older, but I can already see that we will need to develop an entirely different discipline system for you. A furrowed brow, or a slightly raised voice sends you into a panic. It also contributes to a great deal of daily drama when your big brother is always furrowing his brow and raising his voice at you for touching "his stuff". I have also already caught you "faking it" when the Nugget was playing nicely with you, payback perhaps for all the toys that have been grabbed from your hands just as you were starting to enjoy them.
1. You still pull your hair when you're frustrated or tired. Then you scream and glare at us, as in, "How could you hurt my head like that?" When we hold your hands to prevent you from self-harm, you get angrier and pull your hair even harder when you do get the chance. You also smack away the spoon then hair-pull when the food is not to your liking, often getting fistfuls of puree smeared in your curls.
Top 10 Things I Love at 1 year old
10. When you play "wash the window". You sit in your highchair and frantically wash a pretend window with your right hand. When the Nugget and I egg you on, you increase your speed until you're in danger of taking off into flight.
9. When you wake from your afternoon nap, you know a bottle is imminent. The second I pick you up, you close your eyes, squirm and twist your body until you've reached bottle-receiving position, and open your mouth like a baby bird waiting for sustenance.
8. You are a nature boy. When you're having a bad day of it, I know I can cure any foul mood with a simple walk in the stroller or even a step outside for some fresh air. At the end of the day, if there is sand between your toes and your curls are sweaty, you've had a good day.
7. You are the only calm-in-the-car child we've ever parented. You doze, you kick your feet, you play with toys, you squawk and squeal, you laugh with the Nugget.
6. You love to sneak up behind me when I sit on the floor. I feel your strong paws pinching and grasping my shirt and shoulders, your fingers working into my hair, feel your breath on my neck and hear your giggles. Sometimes you want me to turn around and get you. Sometimes you don't, you just want to see the world over my shoulder.
5. Your belly laugh is to die for. Rare though, you are slightly, I don't know what else to call it but, "jaded." You'll laugh uproariously for a new trick but after 2-3 times, you stare at me blankly like a bored teenager. "It's just not funny anymore, Mama. Been there, done that."
4. You make funny, over-the-top expressions with crazy sounds to match.
3. You love to create. You put crayon to paper daily. When you see a block tower, your instinct is to inspect it and disassemble it one block at a time.
2. You adore the Nugget and Tater. You want to be doing whatever the Nugget is doing. You think he is amazing, and you're determined to wear him down even when he is frustrated with you.
1. You give hugs. Sometimes with 2 hands around our throats but always with affection.
If I had a dollar for every time I've said...
ReplyDelete5. You lack caution/survival skills. When being held, instead of hanging on, you twist outward, wiggle and buck. When on a couch, you go for the arm and try to flip head-first off the side. When climbing the steps, you try to turn backwards and head down face-first. I see many trips to the ER in our future.
...I could run my own lottery!!