Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Diamond in the Rough

I put my to-do list in the back of my mind a few weeks ago and took the littles to a playdate hosted by a neighbor.  It was just 2 blocks away, so we took the red wagon instead of the minivan.  Tater immediately disposed of her mittens.  Little puffs of steam rose with our breaths, and the wagon wheels made their comforting grinding sound on the pavement, bouncing the babies over a carpet of yellow and brown leaves.  The temperature had just dipped below freezing, and there was an unexpected beauty - tiny droplets of dew stuck to many of the leaves at my feet and had frozen there, tiny perfect sparkling jewels, reflecting the morning light like diamonds.  I couldn't stop marveling at them but of course didn't have my camera handy.  By the time we walked home, the dew had melted back to liquid form, the tiny diamonds just a memory.
A favorite game in our house is "Stinky Feet".  It involves nothing but peeling sweaty socks off a grouchy kidlet and going in for a big whiff before declaring, "Eeeewww!  Stinky!"  If you're squeamish about malodorous things like I am, you simply have a puppet or a lovie do your dirty work, sometimes that's even funnier to them.  Tater recently learned to say, "stinky" and Spork can say, "Eww!", so this game is getting really good, with all 3 kids sniffing each others' toes and giggling hysterically.
More things I never thought I'd say:

"Please stop licking the cow."

"Your big brother doesn't wear a diaper, please stop peeking in his pants for poop."

"Sorry, you can't look at Mommy's belly button while we're at Target, you'll have to wait until we get home."
I know I've said a million times that the Nugget channels Will Farrell, but have I mentioned that Spork channels Chris Farley?  Just as hilarious but angrier and spazzier, am I right?!  So yesterday, I took both littles to SuperTarget (that's enough fodder for like 3 blog posts but I digress).  I normally try to avoid that at all costs, but it was unavoidable as our cupboards and fridge were bare (well, full of fuzzy and stale foods), so off we went.  I stuffed them in that giant, impossible-to-steer cart with 2 seats, and it was great for the first 16 minutes.  Then Tater realized that she could reach Spork's jacket zipper, and of course he freaked out that she was invading his personal space, so I "solved" it by letting Spork walk and "help" me with the groceries.  He did pretty well for a 2yo loose in a grocery store, the only issue is that he would march/stomp a little faster than I could keep up with the cart, so I had to keep calling him to return, which he did, incredibly, every time.  Well, as I stopped to load up the cart with the 3 kinds of milk my high-maintenance family demands, Spork rounded to corner towards the frozen foods, so I called him back again.  He came running, obediently.  I nonchalantly reminded him to use his walking feet and turned back to the milk cooler, my right hand holding the cooler door, the left hand grabbing his almond milk.  Then I felt the door shake, heard a loud thump, and turned to see that Spork had run full speed into the open glass door and knocked himself flat on his back, a lot like this (at 1:25).  Angry and stunned, he started up a huge wail.  Of course I felt for him and comforted him immediately, but I'd be lying if I claimed that I didn't smother a giggle and wished I'd caught it on video.  Come to think of it, Target employees may be watching it on their security tapes and busting up at this very moment!

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