Thursday, May 5, 2016

I'll never look at irises the same way after this...

Tater Thinks Aloud

"In my new bed, there are no monster clowns.  When I had my old bed, sometimes there were monster clowns, but they are gone now."  (Girl has scarier plots than Tim Burton)

T: Do you sleep at work?
D: No I sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s room.
T: Do you cuddle like Santa Claus?
D: What?....
T:Why don’t you sleep in my bed?
D: It’s not big enough.
T: If we had bunk beds we could sleep one on top…and one on the bottom

M: Oh, look at the pretty irises.
T:  Is there diarrhea in them?
M: What?
T:  Is there diarrhea?  In the irises?  Inside them?
M:  No...
T:  Why is there not diarrhea in the irises?
M:  ???
T:  Why don't people poop in the irises?
M:  I'm not sure I have a satisfactory answer for you.

T:  You're a potato!  Mr. Potato.
D:  Ok
T: And I'm a watermelon!  No clapping!  You don't clap, Mr. Potato!

Spork Makes a Tough Decision

I recently got a little special solo time with Spork and treated him to dinner out.  He asked if he could have dessert, but it was getting late.  I said, "Well, you can choose to stay and have ice cream, but you might miss the Nugget's video."  He made an awful strangled sound, like he was making Sophie's Choice, then shouted, "Wideo!  I choose wideo!  Let's go right now!"  He squirmed and whined the whole time I paid and packed up the leftovers, then clambered quickly into his car seat, shouting, "Let's get dis Beaver home!"  I am relieved to report that we made it in time for most of the video in question.

The Nugget, on Marriage

The Nugget declared that Pinto and Giraffe got married last night.  I congratulated them and asked if they were taking a honeymoon.  He replied, "Yes they are!  In my bed!"

The Nugget has been telling me for about 2 months now that when he grows up, he does not wish to get married nor have children.  "I want to live alone in a hotel and have adventures.  I want to fly to a new city on my private jet every day.  I probably shouldn't have pets either because I wouldn't have time to take care of them."

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